How Hans Got His Name

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From The Battle of Mabonigon

Professor Buxley

   Although the title of this work may read The Battle of Mabonigon Professor Isaiah Buxley was correct in warning his readers (and I will do the same) that the title is terribly misleading. It brings to mind some chronological analysis of political events, discussion of armaments, and terrain analysis. I’m afraid that this work is nearly useless to historians and military strategists who would like to learn and write about the battle.  Very little is mentioned of the political proceedings of the conflict and there is nothing terribly illustrative to the weaponry mentioned in the book.  Even the landscape is only mentioned casually without true references to facilitate an analysis.

   This is the story of a young man named Hans and what he did at the battle.  In Professor Buxley’s notes he speculated that the original name of this was Hans at the Battle of Mabonigon, but that somehow the title got shortened.  Maybe someone spilled something on it.  Well, whatever the reasons the story has a name, a beginning, and an end.  Once again it takes place long enough ago we can’t ask anyone who was around which parts are true and which parts have colorful facts.  We do know that it started on a Thursday.  When Alan used to tell it to his kids he always made sure to be exact about what day of the week it started on.  So it was Thursday.

   One might think it odd for a boy to be named Hans, but it wasn’t so odd when this story takes place.  What was a bit odd is why Hans was named Hans.  You see he was an only child and before he was born his parents had hoped for years to have a child come and bless their home.  When they did get pregnant the two would stay up late discussing possible names.  Usually it was Hans’ mother who would bring the subject up.  Asad, Hans’ father, would usually just settle down in front of the fireplace.  The evening’s meal would be settling comfortably in his stomach and he’d begin to close his eyes.  Maiwand, Hans’ mom, would watch for her husband’s charateristic “long blink” and purposefully interrupt to inspire a conversation.  It wasn’t to be terribly rude, or mean, but it was her way of being playful—a sort of married people flirting if you will.

   On a Thursday night Maiwand started in a gentle voice, “Dear, what do you think of Elihu if it’s a boy?”

   More asleep than awake Asad would reply with a rehearsed “sure dear” and go back to “resting his eyes.”

   She’d then follow it up with a much louder, “Well, it’s settled then.  I don’t know why we didn’t just agree to it before now.  I’m glad you agree dear.  I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

   The inflection in her voice got him to perk up and realize he hadn’t been answering a normal question.

   “What-what?  What’s that dear?  What did you just trick me into agreeing to?  I didn’t agree to catching a moonbeam in a jar again did I because it’s already on my list of things to do and I promise I’ll get to it after I finish all the other things you’ve tricked me into doing.”

   He smiled back at her.  He knew it was a game and between the two of them he didn’t mind playing the pawn.

   “We were discussing what to name our first child dear, and you just agreed to Elihu if it’s a boy.”

   The flirtatious conversation continued until she got him awake enough to see the spark behind his eyes.  Although he recommended several other names she remained firm that he had agreed to Elihu until she was done talking about it, at which point she said, “I guess I can think about it some more.  I’ll probably ask you about another name tomorrow.”

   Night after night the two would banter back and forth like this.  Oh and some of the names that Maiwand came up with were hilarious.  She went a whole week with made up names that were really real names spelled backwards.  For example one night she got Asad to agree to Retep which is Peter spelled backwards.  Another night she got him to agree that if it was a girl they’d have to name it Yeti which wasn’t backwards for anything.  It’s just a short name for the abominable snowman and not exactly the sort of name you’d want a daughter to walk around with.

   Asad thought the Yeti suggestion was so terrible that he went out and got a boy puppy and named it Yeti.  “There,” he said, “now it’s a boys name for sure, and you’re not going to name any of my kids after a dog.”

   When Hans was born Yeti was nearly potty trained and for a few weeks there was an overlap of messes to clean up in the house.  Oh, and how he got the name Hans you ask?  Well, it was quite simple.  When Asad handed the baby boy to Maiwand she was happy and terribly exhausted.  Having a baby is the hardest work anyone can ever do.  She looked at the baby’s face and said “He’s Hans.” What she thought she was saying was “He’s Handsome” but being as tired as she was it didn’t come out right.

   She asked a few minutes later what Asad thought he should name him.  “Honey, you just told me his name was Hans.  Don’t tell me you’re going to go back on your word after all the times you wouldn’t let me go back on mine?”

   She smiled.  Yes between the two of them she didn’t mind playing the pawn.

 

The Miracles of American Independence

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When one looks back on the Revolution it was an amazing feat for our colonies to defeat the greatest superpower of the 18th Century.  Time and time again, after the Americans had done all they could do, it seemed like Providence stepped in.  The first miracle was the assembly of political talent.  In the 17th Century the elite in America was in the Clergy.  In the 19th Century the elite was in business and industry.  But, for a brief moment in time the intellectual elite of America was in politics – and they were brilliant.

Now to the War for Independence —-

Escape from Brooklyn Heights:  The seed for this miracle were planted in 1775 at the Battle of Bunker Hill.  British General Howe saw the terrible carnage that American Riflemen could rain on British infantry formations. A year later as General Howe had the remnants of the Continental Army cornered on Brooklyn Heights he elected to lay siege rather than suffer the losses of a direct assault.  The direct assault would have cost Howe 2000+ soldiers but would have ended the war.  As darkness came, Washington decided to evacuate his army across the East River under the control of the British Navy.  Much of the Army got across that night, but, as daylight approached Washington and a number of units still remained in the Heights.  In the nick of time a strange fog settled over the Heights and the River prevented the British Navy from seeing the evacuation — Washington and all of his men got away.

Trenton 1:  After Brooklyn Heights the Continental Army was forced off Manhattan Island and started a humiliating retreat down through New Jersey.  At this point, the Army was down from 20,000 men in NY to about 2000 men fit for combat operations.  Thomas Paine would write the “Crisis” upon the head of a drum – “There are the times that try men’s souls….” The Army was short on food, ammunition, blankets, medical supplies and in short everything.  By all reasonable measurements they were about finished with winter coming on.  Washington’s generalship was in serious question.  Politically, New Jersey was flipping back to the Crown.  The Army got across to the West side of the Delaware River and took every boat they could find within a 100 miles are so – they were safe for the moment.  Now they just had to wait for the river to freeze and the British would cross and finish them off and march to Philly.  However, the British went into Winter Quarters following European military practice. A Hessian garrison was stationed across the river in Trenton.  The Hessians had everything the ragged Continentals needed – food, ammunition, blankets and all manner of supplies.  Washington decided on a Bold Stroke – to take the Hessian garrison.  He would risk it all.  The plan was for two crossings – one south of Tenton and one north.  The operation kicked off after dark on Christmas night during a Noreaster (snow, sleet, rain and winds).  The southern crossing had to be abandon due to ice on the Delaware.  Washington’s northern crossing made it but was 3-4 hours behind schedule and it was now light by the time they got across and were organized.  The Hessian Commander had been warned that the Continentals might try something.  Their sentries were out.  However, the storm was so bad – they must have believed a major river crossing was impossible that night.  In a brief action, Washington’s forces took the Hessian garrison, killed their commander, took most of them prisoner, and captured the badly needed supplies.  They got themselves, their prisoners, and the supplies back across the Delaware that day – safe from a British counterattack.  The Continentals suffered no combat deaths – although some histories claim several deaths from exposure on the march into Trenton.  Yes, the path of the Continental Army could be followed by the blood left on the snow from their frozen feet of the Continental Army that morning.  The news of Trenton spread within days though out the colonies and brought new energy to the cause.  The British considered the affair unfortunate, but, not militarily significant.  However, from a political standpoint it was the equivalent of the Doolittle Raid on Japan at the start of WWII.  It solidified Washinton’s position as commanding general and flipped New Jersey back to the Revolutionary movement.  The miracles here are too many to count.

Trenton 2:  With the Army rearmed and resupplied, Washington decided to cross the Delaware again and make more trouble for the British.  He makes a great appeal the his Army to stay with him for 30 more days as most of his Army’s enlistments all were scheduled to run out on 31 December 1776.  Most decide to stay.  He crossed the River and engages Cornwallis in a sharp action at Assunpink Creek.  The engagement is a draw, and as night falls Cornwallis elects to finish Washington off the next morning.   Washington knows he must retreat and here weather steps in again to save the Army.  During the night a cold front sweeps though the area freezing the muddy roads and making possible a rapid military movement.  The Continentals get their Army away again undetected by Cornwallis and then successfully engage a smaller British force near Princeton the next day.  The Continentals then move to their own winter camp.

The net result of the Trenton actions was the solidification of Washington’s generalship, the evacuation of most of New Jersey by the British for the winter and the animation of the New Jersey militia. The initiative for the War had moved to the Americans – they were safe that winter.

Due to time, I am going to skip and Saratoga (Oct 1777) and Valley Forge (1777-1778) for another time.  They were great miracle to.  In the South Nathaniel Greene resurrected the American Army and lead a brilliant campaign against Cornwallis.  Three critical but lesser known actions in the Southern Colonies in 1780 and 1781 (Kings Mountain, Cowpens and Gilford Court House) turned the tide.  Those southern actions forced Cornwallis to move to the Virginia coast for resupply and refitting and set up the final battle of the War – Yorktown.

Yorktown:  Yorktown was one of the most remarkable feats in our military history.  Yorktown was the most daring and complex military operation of the Revolutionary War.  It was a combined operation between forces of two nations and a separate fleet.  It required a month of hard marching to move the American and French Armies from NY and New England to Virginia to meet up with a French Fleet schedule to arrive in September.  Most battle plans fall apart as they are executed, requiring commanders to improvise constantly. However, the Yorktown operation seemed to work better as the plan unfolded – guided by an unseen hand.  Everyone arrived on time.  Washington’s deception plan for the British forces in NY worked perfectly fixing the British Army in New York until it was too late.  The French Fleet arrived on time and spent six weeks in the Chesapeake Bay area during the height of Hurricane season.  There were no storms!!  The British fleet sent to break the siege were poorly lead and uncharacteristically withdrew after the initial engagement.  The Siege by the American and French forces worked like perfectly.  Four years to the day after the British surrender at Saratoga, a white flag rose over the British works at Yorktown and a drummer boy beat parle – they surrendered.

A second British fleet with better leadership and the power to break the siege finally arrived in Yorktown, one week after the surrender.  They were too late – It was over.  While Washington had to keep the Army intact for to more years, American Independence had been decided.

Have a great Independence Day.  Remember the remarkable origins of our Nation.  And, remember that after we’ve done all we can, God often steps in to help out even though we often cannot even recognize that help.  Thank God for our freedoms and all we have to be thankful for.

-Fred Roecker

The Girl Who Turned Into A Lion

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This is an earlier version of the story.  The completed version is now available on Amazon.com.

Audio Book | PDF | Word

The Girl Who Turned Into A Lion

This story starts on a Tuesday. At least the way it’s told it began on a Tuesday. Alan used to tell it to his kids when they were little, having read it in a book by Isaiah Buxley. Isaiah Buxley found it on an obscure shelf in a library one day, in a book with a plain brown cover. But the adventures of Isaiah Buxley is a subject for another story because Isaiah’s story started on a Friday and as I have already told you, this story starts on a Tuesday.

It takes place in a time when there were still kings and queens, princesses and castles. It was so long ago now that everyone who was in the story has been gone for some time, so we can’t ask them which parts of the story are true and which parts have, shall we say, colorful facts.

On this particular Tuesday the wizard Alamus was traveling along a dirt road. When the sun grew lower in the west he looked around for a place to camp for the night. At the edge of a nearby wood he noticed another group of travelers setting up for the evening. As he drew closer he could smell smoke from a freshly lit campfire. To the side of the fire pit was a man mounting a newly killed wild boar on a spit.

Alamus saw several others putting up a white tent with red trim. On the door of the tent was a red dragon and golden sword, the emblem of the house of Odenwald. The white tent was symbolic of the king’s youngest daughter, Jan. Jan wasn’t her full name, you see the king was very clever about a great many things, but not when it came to names and so each of his children were named after the months in which they were born. Princess Jan was born in January. Princess June was born in June. Prince Octavio, was born in October. It is quite a stroke of luck that none of his five children were ever born in the same month. Princess Jan was the youngest of King Hans van Odenwald’s five children.

And so Alamus approached the camp to be greeted by a young man who appeared to be in his late teens or early twenties. The two strangers introduced themselves. Alamus as a traveling wizard, and the young man introduced himself as Dashtek. Dashtek welcomed Alamus into the camp. It is always a good idea to welcome a traveling wizard into your camp. Usually a traveling wizard will put a spell over wherever they sleep so that it does not rain while they are resting. This means that when the clouds do rain it’s got twice the rain as it had before. So you can see it is much better to have a traveling wizard place a spell in your camp instead of next to it.

Dashtek began to introduce Alamus to the rest of the party. The hunter Kilewal was the man placing the boar on a spit. When Alamus waved he only grunted his reply and went back to work. The Lady Arable was the princess escort for the journey and offered a polite curtsy to the visiting wizard before turning to enter the tent again.

The guide for the party was a man named Poplazi who was chosen as the guide for two reasons. The first was that he was once introduced to the king as a distant relative of Marco Polo, the truth was that he was Marco Polo’s barber’s cousin. Barber and brother are two words that do sound similar, but have quite different meanings. The second reason he was chosen was that he had traveled further than anyone else and therefore the king surmised that he must know more about traveling than anyone else in his kingdom. King Hans van Odenwald was a good king, but he may not have been very clever when it came to traveling either.

Three other servants accompanied the party. These were the Lady Arable’s nephews who were quick to perform their tasks and just as quick to abandon them for some random game. Having just completed setting up the tent the three of them had decided to play “duck the arrow.” Don’t worry if you haven’t heard of it before. Until they had finished the tent they hadn’t heard of it either. The game worked something like this. One of the boys would stand in front of a nearby tree while his brother would notch an arrow on his bow and point it at his brother. The third brother stood on the side and said “ready, set, GO!” At the word GO the arrow flew toward the brother in front of the tree who would have to drop to the ground as fast as he could to avoid getting skewered. The adrenaline rush from almost dying was exhilarating and the boys would laugh as they met in the middle to share their version of the iteration and trade places.

Alamus watched as the boys we’re each taking their second turn. The youngest was shooting at the oldest when a noise erupted from the tent and distracted him. He let the arrow go and it hit a rock in front of his brother and skipped at a deathly speed toward his sibling. Quickly Alamus pulled out his wand. A flash emerged and the sound of thunder rang through the air. The arrow turned into a flower that hit the boy’s chest with such gentle speed that he caught it before it hit the ground.

The entire camp turned its attention toward the area where the boys were playing. For the first time Alamus saw Sir James Leavelle who fought with Arthur at the battle of Mabonigon. It wasn’t a great claim to fame. Nearly every knight at the time fought in the battle, if you weren’t there it was because you weren’t born yet. It was the only story Sir James ever told. A number of years ago he realized people were tired of hearing him tell the story and so in the company of others he would just keep quiet, and eventually got in the habit of sleeping through just about anything. Anything that is, but the crack of thunder which had emerged from Alamus’ wand.

Sir James with sword in hand had stepped a few paces before his eyes cleared from sleeping and he saw a wizard in front of him. Once he recognized the source of disruption, he sheathed his sword and offered out a hand of friendship.

The Lady Arable also emerged from the tent to offer a disappointed glance at her nephews and their dangerous game. Shortly after the Lady Arable appeared came the initial cause of the near deathly distraction, Princess Jan who exited with a great protest. “This tent isn’t going to keep me any safer if we’re being attacked! I have just as much a right to see what’s going on as you do!” Continue reading “The Girl Who Turned Into A Lion” »

Noah’s Fleas

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The story of Noah’s ark is one of the first Bible stories parents often share with their kids.  At young ages kids will often be taught to mimic the animal sounds.  When mom or dad points to the tiger a child will often make a roar.  For the cows kids will moo, ducks quack, chickens cluck, dogs bark, and cats meow.

The story wouldn’t be complete without explaining that the reason for the flood was the people’s wickedness and how Noah pleaded with them to repent and they would not listen.  But the way I tell it that’s only part of the story.

Wicked people generally aren’t nice to one another, and they’re certainly not nice to animals.  Seeing this Noah started the very first animal shelter in his area and hoped to fund it with donations from those within the community.

Unfortunately wicked people don’t donate to charity so Noah after some marketing research decided to turn his animal shelter into a zoo, charge a modest fee so he’d be able to make ends meet with regards to food costs and other expenses.

The plan worked pretty well.  His kids helped with zoo construction and got pretty good at making fences and shelters for the animals.  The local people did patron the zoo and Noah encouraged them to fill out his customer surveys at the end of their visit.

One of the first comments he got was regarding the fleas.  You see, the cats, dogs, cows, giraffes, beavers, platypuses, and wolves all had fleas and would spend a considerable amount of time scratching themselves. The customer surveys were NOT good and soon business was really looking bad.  Repeat business was low because no one wanted to go to the zoo and watch the animals do nothing more than scratch themselves.

It was about this time when things were looking pretty down that Noah was told to quit his full time job of managing and marketing the zoo and to start building an ark.  It took a lot of faith.  After all, there was no marketing research on the need for an ark within the community.

Noah built it anyway.  Once again the kids helped.  By this time the whole family was pretty good at building things with wood and the land that was going to be phase three of zoo development (plans included a rough roller coaster) was large enough to accommodate ark construction.

Noah applied his marketing skills to convince the people to come aboard.  At first they accused him of just wanting their money.  So to convince them he was only concerned about their safety he cut his prices down to zero.  This freed up the person taking admissions to help with ark construction, which seemed always slightly behind schedule.  The additional hands would help it get back on track.

People came to visit Noah’s zoo but mostly to make fun of the ark construction project.  Not only did it not look like the advertised roller coaster, but the mayor threatened to sue because Noah had not gotten the appropriate construction permits from the city council.

Noah was pretty upset about the whole thing.  Not only did he really want to save his neighbors, but also he knew that taking care of all those animals would be easier if there were more people on the ark.  Despite knowing that he and his family would be safe from the flood he had a really hard time being happy with his situation.

Then he found something new he could be happy about.  He realized the flood gave him an opportunity to get rid of the flea problem that had plagued his zoo.  He decided to announce it at his weekly ark update meeting with the animals.  If everyone was attentive the meeting would generally last about 15 minutes, but if they weren’t listening it would take longer.  There was generally never a problem with the hippos or alligators as long as they were in separate ponds.  The giraffes with their long necks usually stayed in the back and were pretty quiet as long as no one was touching them.  Noah learned the hard way to have the meeting in the morning so that the owls would be too tired to ask him “Who?” while he was briefing.

Mr. Hyena had been laughing all week at a joke he heard and the night before the meeting finally settled down enough to tell his friend, Mr. Wolf.  Mr. Wolf desperately wanted to share with his wife but he didn’t stop laughing about it until the morning.  On the way to the meeting Mr. Wolf was telling the joke but before he could finish they arrived and Noah had started talking.

Now anyone who’s ever had a good story to tell knows that it’s hard to stop before you’re finished.  It’s like getting to the last bite of dessert and someone telling you not to eat it.  Still, Mr. Wolf did his best to listen and be polite, but as the meeting wore on the punch line kept getting more and more funny in his mind.  It was like having an itch and not scratching.  Everyone knows if you catch an itch early it goes away pretty quick, but if you let it linger it starts to spread all over.

Noah unveiled his plan to get construction ahead of schedule by not building the scratching posts in each of the stalls.  Just at the moment when Noah was explaining why they wouldn’t need the posts Mr. Wolf couldn’t hold it in any longer and told his wife the punch line.  The joke was so funny they laughed all the way through Noah’s instructions to take a bath to kill the fleas before boarding the ark.

All of the animals except the wolves followed instructions and took a bath.  When the flood came Noah cried knowing all of the people had known were drowned.  Sure he was grateful to be alive, but it was hard to focus on that.  He tried hard to find a happy thought, and the only one he could think of was that he’d finally be rid of fleas.

Life has a way of making everything seem to go wrong all at once.  It was during the 40 days and 40 nights of rain when Noah discovered the wolves didn’t bathe.  The fleas had already begun to spread again to the other animals.  Every animal voiced their disapproval.  The lions roared, the cows mooed, the cats hissed, the dogs barked, and the horses neighed.  The entire time they didn’t have a scratching posts to ease their pain.

When the rain stopped everyone was invited upstairs to watch Noah send out the dove.  After it flew away Noah reminded them about the customer surveys they would be filling out at the end of the cruise—just in case he ever had to do this again.  The animals didn’t wait to fill out a survey before they started offering suggestions to Noah about how to punish the Wolves.  He tried to listen patiently but it was mostly just noise.  After spending all of those days itching with no relief tempers were pretty high.  The lions were seriously about to prove they were the king of the jungle and threatening to eat everyone when the dove came back with the olive branch.

In the excitement of the dove returning everyone forgot about their itching and Noah herded them downstairs promising to brief them of his solution at the next meeting. That’s why today the olive branch is a symbol of peace.  It stopped the animals from fighting.

When the water receded the animals again gathered so Noah could collect their customer surveys.  He figured that because he hadn’t gotten rid of the fleas they’d all be back in the ark after a few days trying this whole thing again.  It was at this point the rainbow appeared and God told Noah the earth would never have a flood like that again.  Because of all the complaining Noah had gotten distracted thinking the purpose of the flood was to get rid of fleas, not wickedness.  People still get distracted today having trouble remembering the difference between God’s goals and their own.

There was still the matter of the customer surveys.  Noah really didn’t want to read everyone’s ideas about what to do.  Can you imagine having to read one survey for each type of animal?

Noah quickly came up with a plan to punish the wolves.  From that day forward the stories Noah told his kids where the wolves would be the bad guys.  Those stories are the same ones we tell our kids today.  Who do you think wrote Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs?  And it all happened because some wolves didn’t take a bath.

And so the moral of the story is:  Take a bath when you’re told or people will be talking about you.

LinuxTycoon Review

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That’s right! Likely not to become game of the year, but certain to become a cult favorite, Linux Tycoon is the game where you’re in charge of releasing your own linux distribution. Created by the famous Bryan Lunduke, this game is quality (even at its beta stage).

The game retails for only $4 and will soon be available for the iOS.  As usual with anything from Bryan Lunduke it your purchase enables multiple formats and is DRM free, which means when you buy it for your home, you buy it for all your systems.

What’s the best way to review something with an 8 bit graphic interface? Well, why not watch someone play it for 17 minutes?

If you’re ready to see what it’s like to “go negative in the freedom dimension” this is the only game where you can do it. Go ahead and take a step into the dark side.

Life After DVDs, Cable, & Satellite Subscriptions

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DVDs are too easily scratched. Cable/Satellite television bills are too high and the networks want you to watch their shows on their schedule not yours. It’s your television, shouldn’t it work on your schedule?  A few years ago I decided I was going to be the boss of my televisions and since 2008 our family hasn’t had a subscription to cable or satellite and we’ve managed just fine. Watch here as I breakdown my network setup and share some valuable insights.

PhotoShoot

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How do you update your photos?  Normally I just take the pictures, clean them up a bit, and send them off to the internet.  I generally don’t delete those that are overly blurry or potential repeats because I believe those photos still tell a part of the story.  What do you think?

Music and the Spoken Word Podcast

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Update:  The Podcast is now available here:  http://feeds.feedburner.com/byu-idahoradio-musicandthespokenword

This upcoming year I’m projected to spend a lot of time away from home and the normal routines that I’ve enjoyed over the years.  One of the things I’ve enjoyed doing on Sunday mornings is listening to hymns while I eat my breakfast and get ready.  To satisfy this fix I’ve tuned my computer into yldsr.com and been able to listen to the audio stream of some fantastic interpretations of hymns.

It’s highly likely that during my travels the internet will be slow and spotty, which means streaming online radio is likely to be difficult.  So I decided to find out if I could get the Mormon Tabernacle Choir’s program, Music and the Spoken Word as a podcast.  After searching the BYUTV website and coming up empty, I opted for the Official MO-TAB website and again came up with nothing.  Persistent I decided to use the “Contact” address provided for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and ask why such a lovely broadcast had not yet been made available on the internet.  The reply to my inquiry came today:

Hello:

 

I’m sorry, but right now there isn’t a way to download the programs for podcasting. Because the Choir sings many copyrighted songs and they do not pay the licensing fees (the stations pay them) for the rights to use those songs, the programs cannot be archived for on demand viewing or listening. They are for broadcast only. However, the Choir is working on changing this policy, soon! (I hope really soon!)

…

-D

In my reply I suggested that I’d check back with her in a year or so.  Her reply was “It should be way sooner than that.”

So, this isn’t much of a news blog.  In all truth I never intended to publish the email.  I only happened to have a few minutes this evening as I was listening to the kids fall asleep.  Truth be told this is is more MY blog than anything else, but I guess I get to break the news that The Mormon Tabernacle Choir’s “Music and the Spoken Word” program will very likely be a podcast before next year at this time.  To some it may seem an obvious and overdue step in their distribution model, but I’ll leave the critics to the comments.  I think I’ll just be grateful that such a professional production can be available in a format that’s easy for me to consume.

Thank you to all the wonderful staff and volunteers who make it possible.

-Jacob

Oh, and for those of you who question the validity of this post because of this post, I’d have you note that my post about a Tom Petty song being added to the Children’s Songbook was categorized as “Sarcasm” and this one is not.

Great Wolf Lodge Observation

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Recently the family took a trip to Grapevine Texas and visited the Great Wolf Lodge.  It was a great place to have a vacation for our family.  Our kids range in the ages of pre-teen to two years old and there was plenty to do for everyone.  At the end of each day everyone fell fast asleep worn out from all of the fun.  I would easily recommend this to friends and family looking for someplace to go for a reasonable price that offers activities for the whole family.

I do have one rant though that I’d like to share.  The “Blue Slide” as we called it has a section where an automatic camera takes your photo.  If you remember the approximate time you went down  you can go down the hallway to see if you’d like to purchase your photo.  The older two kids and I did a run just so we could see the photo.  We excitedly rand down the hall and found the kiosk where the lady showed us the photo.  Because of the camera angle the photograph was mostly water covering most of ourselves and our faces.  The kiosk showed several examples of completed photo frames etc, none of which were appealing considering the quality of photograph.

“Well,” I said.  “I’ll pay you a couple of bucks to send it to me and let me post it on facebook.”  To this she politely replied that she couldn’t.  Now people let’s get real for a minute.

  • You’ve installed the camera.
  • You’ve taken my picture.
  • I’ve seen my picture.

And you want to sell me my picture in a frame or as a printout?  It’s 2012!  My photo albums are on my desktop photo software, my blog, or on facebook!  How hard is it to watermark it with Great Wolf Lodge and post it to my wall tagging me in the photo?  If you did that, then you’d get all the free advertising for being on my wall (’cause I’m that popular) and I’d still pay you a couple of dollars for posting the picture!

Yeah, GWL has a lot of really good points about it, but like any corporate run business there are a few rough edges.  Still if this is my biggest complaint, can you imagine how awesome the place really is?  I’m pretty good at complaining and this is what I came up with….  Sounds to me like these people (generally) know what they’re doing.

Tangled Strikes Again

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I’ve had a bit of fun with photo editing recently…

I’m not sure if this violates some copyright laws, but I am sure that if it does I’ll be hearing from Disney soon.